Domestic Abuse
Domestic abuse is defined as controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour or violence or abuse between people aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality. It includes psychological, physical, financial, sexual, emotional abuse and stalking.
The internet and social media can be used in domestic abuse which can include posting revenge porn and online stalking. Domestic abuse can also include forced marriage, female genital mutilation, so-called ‘honour’ based abuse ‘ and abuse of elderly family members.
It’s not always obvious to acknowledge or see domestic abuse when it’s happening. Although, a higher percentage of domestic abuse is carried out by men against women, men also suffer abuse by women, and it can also be common in same-sex relationships.
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What is Controlling or Coercive Behaviour?
Controlling and coercive behaviour is at the heart of domestic abuse. It is a deliberate and calculated pattern of behaviour and psychological abuse designed to isolate, manipulate and terrorise a victim into complete, fearful obedience.
The Government definition of coercive behaviour is:
Coercive behaviour is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.
Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, whilst depriving them of the resources (such as money) needed for independence.
Useful Questions
- Has your partner tried to keep you from seeing your friends or family?
- Has your partner prevented you or made it hard for you to continue or start studying, or from going to work?
- Does your partner constantly check up on you or follow you?
- Are you ever afraid of your partner?
- Has your partner ever hurt or threatened you or your children?
- Has your partner ever kept you short of money so you are unable to buy food or other necessary items for yourself and your children or made you take out loans?
- Has your partner ever tried to control you by telling you that you could be deported because of your immigration status?
- Has your partner ever tried to prevent you leaving the house?
Contacting Us
- If you report a crime to Staffordshire Police, they will ask you if you are happy for your details to be passed on to the Staffordshire Victim Gateway. Unless you opt out, we will then automatically receive your contact information and a brief overview of your experience and the crime. If you did opt out, can still self-refer at any time.
- We will then contact you directly to offer our service. We can provide you with information, emotional and practical support. We can liaise and advocate on your behalf and introduce you to specialist services, such as New Era who can give the relevant support that can help in your recovery and will be with you every step of the way. Their support is free and confidential, regardless of whether you have reported a crime or incident to the police.
- To access New Era directly you can web refer here: New Era Secure Forms
- You can also access a range of tools at mysupportspace.org.uk to help you cope and move forwards after crime. This is a free, safe, secure and confidential space where you can choose how you want to be supported after crime.
There are also services for those causing the harm and New Era offer a Behaviour Change service. More details can be found here www.new-era.uk
Stalking and Harassment
Stalking is unwanted and repeated behaviour towards an individual by another that causes a victim to feel that violence may be used against them or another person. It can cause fear, harassment or anxiety, resulting in the victim to feel afraid, alarm and distressed. This behaviour can include regularly sending unwanted gifts or malicious communications, damaging property; and physical or sexual assault. There will be different motivations for an offenders behaviour. This may include revenge, retribution, loneliness, resentment, a desire for reconciliation, response to a perceived insult, humiliation or a desire for control.
Research shows that those who are at the highest risk of assault are ex-intimates who have been threatened, and where the stalking has continued for more than two weeks.
Remember to save any messages, make note of calls and any other correspondence. Write down date, time, location, any witnesses, what happened, how it made you feel and if you have reported to the police. If you are worried you are being stalked, regardless of whether you have reported any incidents to the police, please get in touch.
Is it an emergency?
If you are in immediate danger and support is needed right away, call Staffordshire Police on 999
If you feel it is a non-emergency, you can log incidents that have happened by calling Staffordshire Police on 101 and contact New Era on 0300 303 3778
If you have a hearing impairment, you can use their textphone service on 18001 101